New Offers | The McGokhshtein $1 Menu: and the Molon 12"er Sourced from Doginal Dog
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Qualifications
If you have blown up your account because you thought it would be safe to sleep on your bag are the type of degenerate we want on the McPoor Team
Special Skills
McPoor members must be able to acquire Solana and be able to connect a wallet. Having an X account with an excessive amount real followers is a bonus on your application and you must be able to spell GM.
Criminal Record
You are certainly qualified. We would not expect anything less. No interview needed with your Bureau of Prisons #.
About McPoor
Welcome to McPoor
From Ronald McPoor House to Global Meme Legend
Once upon a bear market, McPoor was a down-and-out meme trader, living large on a diet of ramen and regret. His dreams of Lambos and Lamb Chops were as distant as the moon. Stranded at the Ronald McPoor House, he spent his days dreaming of a better life while flipping burgers and dodging FOMO-induced food fights. 🍔🚀
Then came the magical day when McPoor discovered the secret recipe to meme success: *fry power and a sprinkle of meme magic*. With a bit of luck, a touch of savvy, and a whole lot of meme-ing, McPoor’s fortunes took a turn for the extraordinary. 🚀💸
From surviving the depths of financial despair to riding high on the wings of meme stardom, McPoor transformed into McRich—a name that’s now synonymous with meme empire greatness. 🌟💰 His rise from flipping fries to flipping wallets is the stuff of legend. McPoor now proudly owns the McPoor Global Franchise Eatery, serving up delectable delights like Rug Burgers, FOMO Fries, and the legendary McRugged Sandwich to degens worldwide. 🍟🥪
Today, McPoor stands as a beacon of meme success, guiding fellow traders with wisdom, wit, and a full menu of meme-inspired treats. His journey from the Ronald McPoor House to McRich is proof that with a bit of humor and a lot of heart, even the most hopeless meme traders can find their way to the top. 🌟🍔🚀
Join McPoor on his continued adventure as he writes the next chapter in his epic saga, and remember: In the world of memes and dreams, McPoor is always here to save the day (and your wallet)! 🌟💸 #McPoor #McRich #MemeLegend
Learn More About the Ronald McPoor House
Suffering from meme token degeneracy, Lambo repossessed, girl friend left you after seeing your wallet balance...is your cat crying? Call the hotline 1-800-Got-Rugged
Discover McPoor
Meals for Degenerate Meme Traders
Today, McPoor is not just a restaurant; it’s a global phenomenon, a place of refuge when your wallet is drained or blown up. With thousands of locations worldwide, the franchise continues to serve millions of meme traders with a smile and a side of sarcasm. The iconic Moon Bags and the Ronald McPoor House remain central to its mission of turning crypto chaos into community and laughter.
And thus, McPoor stands as the largest franchise owned and operated by degenerate meme traders, proving that even in the craziest markets, there’s always room for a little humor and a lot of McRugged burgers.
To all the Meme influencers you give all of us the opportunity to become overnight millionaires and at the same time to become McPoor. We salute you!
Disclaimer: Shenanigans Ahead!
Attention, Meme Enthusiasts and Fast-Food Fanatics:
Before you get too excited, let’s set the record straight. The following lore about McPoor is purely satirical and intended for your entertainment. We repeat: THIS IS A JOKE.
- No McPoor Restaurant Exists: Contrary to any wild dreams you might have, there is no actual McPoor restaurant serving up your favorite “Fucking Fries” or “McRugged Sandwiches.” If you show up at your local drive-thru demanding a “Chaotic Cherry Shake,” you’ll likely be met with confusion and perhaps a polite refusal.
- Ronald McPoor House is Fictional: While the idea of a charitable haven for degenerate meme traders sounds heartwarming (and hilariously absurd), there is no such place. No one is offering rehab for your lost Lambos, nor is there a support group for your meme-induced misadventures.
- McPoor Franchises are a Fantasy: The prospect of owning a McPoor Franchise is as real as a unicorn in your backyard. Despite the thrilling tale of Nobu and Jools, you cannot actually buy into this fictional empire. No application forms, no franchise fees, no burger-flipping glory—just pure, unadulterated satire.
- Zero Truth in Any of This: The lore surrounding McPoor, from the legendary rise of Nobu to the whimsical offerings of the menu, is a work of humor and imagination. Any resemblance to real-life events, people, or business ventures is purely coincidental—or more accurately, entirely made up.
So, if you find yourself daydreaming about a life of meme-fueled fast food fame or plotting a visit to a non-existent Ronald McPoor House, remember: it’s all in good fun. Enjoy the laughs, and keep your expectations firmly rooted in reality.
From McPoor to McRich...
The Birth and Lore of McPoor
In the midst of the infamous Great Bear Market of Memeopolis, a time when meme tokens were crashing harder than a leased Tesla on autopilot, a serendipitous encounter led to the founding of McPoor. Sahil, a once-legendary meme trader, found himself in dire straits. His portfolio was a trainwreck of epic proportions, his crypto dreams lay in tatters, and his prized Lambo had been repossessed. Destitute and disheartened, Sahil wandered the streets of Memeopolis, his hopes as dashed as his investments.
One fateful day, as he scoured the city for a glimmer of comfort in his Seacasa of despair, with Sahil’s brainlet rekt’d he stumbled upon an unlikely beacon of hope: a greasy, neon-lit food truck emblazoned with the cryptic sign, "McPoor – I’m Rugging It." The truck, parked in a rundown part of town, was owned by the eccentric Ansem, a culinary frontrunning wizard whose reputation for serving up meme-themed delights was matched only by his enigmatic charm.
Ansem was not your average food truck operator; he was a master of meme-infused gastronomy, crafting meals with a satirical twist that resonated deeply with the dejected traders of Memeopolis. When Sahil approached, he found Ansem flipping burgers while eyeing the latest meme token charts, a juxtaposition that seemed almost poetic in its absurdity.
Sahil, intrigued by this bizarre yet oddly comforting establishment, struck up a conversation with Ansem. Between bites of the legendary Rug Burger and sips of FOMO inspired FudShake, and shared stories of their misadventures in the world of meme trading. It was during this culinary heart-to-heart that the pair realized they were onto something revolutionary.
As they brainstormed over greasy napkin drawings, half-eaten Rug Burgers and some legendary Fuckin Fries, Ansem and Sahil joined hands and prayed to Lord Crypto and devised a plan to create a haven for fellow traders who had been rug-pulled, scammed, or otherwise financially devastated by the volatile world of crypto. With a shared vision and a touch of irreverent humor, they serendipitously coined the now-famous slogan: "McPoor – I'm Ape'n It."
Then they rugged it and The New McPoor became the CTO Leader....
McPoor revolutionized the menu, featuring iconic items like Alpha Nuggets with Red Dipping Sauce and the infamous Big McRugged Burger, became a hit among traders seeking solace and a good laugh. McPoor quickly grew from a quirky food truck into a global franchise, serving over 50 billion meme traders with a side of satire and a whole lot of comfort.
Today, McPoor stands as the largest franchise owned and operated by degenerate meme traders and influencers, proving that even in the most turbulent markets, there’s always a place for humor and a good meal. The McPoor story is a testament to the resilience of meme culture and the extraordinary ways in which it can transform even the darkest market dips into triumphs of greasy narcissistic and sociopathic brilliance.
The Legendary Menu
The iconic McPoor brand was founded on the principles of fear, FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), , hacking, greed, and, of course, insider information. As legend has it this is how the iconic menu prepared by the Legendary Alpha Chef, Zeeps Meme Kitchen came to be:
And, if you are not on the menu…you are a fucking nobody in the memetic world…
1. Big McRug Burgers: Named after the infamous “rug pulls” served on delectable Iggy Buns with her secret Saucie that will melt in your mouth. These burgers are packed with unexpected flavors and a side of despair. Each bite is a reminder that even when you get rug-pulled, you can always enjoy a good Big McRug burger. If you can afford it.
2. Fudshakes: For those moments when FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt) threatens to overwhelm your crypto spirit and give you the market jitters, McPoors variety milkshakes are here to soothe and calm your wallet balance. Made with a blend of "serious doubt" a sprinkle of meme magic topped with whipped meme with a ticker on top, they promise to help you laugh in the face of market chaos.
3. KOLa Drinks: Inspired by Key Opinion Leaders (KOLs) who shape the meme token landscape, these drinks are as varied and predictable as the fading influencers themselves. Each KOLa drink comes with its own “influencer-approved” flavor sweetened with DexScammer, from “Shilling Cherry”, “Pump Pineapple”, "Dr. Rugger", to “Rugalicios Kola” For the few health conscious water drinkers we offer the crystal clear "LFG" bottled water filled with micro plastics to help give your trading balls more bounce per ounce.
4. Nobu McSushi Party Platter: For those times when you want to enjoy the finer things in the meme world, the Nobu McSushi Party Platter offers a selection of sushi rolls, each named after famous meme tokens. It’s the perfect dish for late night X Spaces for those who want to combine no sleep and high-end dining with their meme trading. Little did they know Nobu would one day become the largest owner operators of McPoors.
5. Ms Ice Tee: This refreshing iced tea is a nod to the cool-headed traders who manage to stay calm and giggling even when the market is in freefall. Made with a secret blend of calming herbs and meme magic, it’s the perfect drink for a day of trading. It is so sweet it even makes you giggle with every sip.
6. Ceasar_Calls Salad: For a heavier option that still packs an investigative and non-sensical flavor, the Ceasar Salad features crispy romaine lettuce, tangy conspiracy laced dressing, and a religious portion of meme croutons. It’s a fresh take on a classic, ideal for traders who need to go down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories, religion and investigations.
7. Rekt Fencer Chili: When the market’s got you feeling down and you are ready to tear yourself a new asshole, this spicy chili is here to heat things up. Packed with a variety of beans, meats, and a secret spice blend, the Rekt Chili is technically the ultimate comfort food for those dealing with a particularly nasty dip.
8. The Classic Chocolate BarkMeta Shake: This decadent shake combines rich chocolate with a sprinkle of “Meta Magic.” It’s the perfect blend of sweet and meme-worthy, ideal for those who want to indulge in a little sociopathic crypto-themed dessert. So sociopathic you will want to beg for it. On special occasions it comes with a BarkMeta badge in the Pump Fun Meals.
9. Shibo Burrito: A hearty burrito packed with flavorful fillings and profanity, inspired by the Shiba Inu meme, but with a “o” on the end for “Oh” it is fucking yummy. It’s a delicious, portable option for those on the go, filled with stomach turning ingredients that make the Shibo meme so popular. Sink your teeth into this Hood Inspired Burrito and you will want to say I am fucking Lovin’ getting rugged. And, the exit liquidity you will experience will make your legs stiffen and cramp.
10. Borovik Biscuit is a culinary tribute to the vibrant and adventurous spirit of Borovik himself. Each golden, flaky biscuit is infused with a blend of savory herbs and spices, creating a flavor explosion that is delightfully humorous. It’s served warm and topped with a delectable swirl of creamy, herb-infused butter that melts into every crevice, ensuring each bite is packed with flavor. Whether you're diving into the market or just diving into your day, the Borovik Biscuit will give you the perfect start with a touch of meme-inspired flair and a whole lot of comical flavor.
11. McJools Filet-o-Fish: For those who love a classic intelligent but sometime flippant seafood option, the McJools Filet-o-Fish features a crispy fish filet topped with a special “Jool’s Drool” sauce served on the signature Iggy bun. It’s a special "catch-and-kill" with a baseball bat fish sandwich that combines the best of the meme world with a timeless smell-o-fish favorite.
12. The Signature Ansem Browns - Delicious Deep Fried Hash (not the smoking kind) Potatoes: These crispy, deep-fried potatoes are seasoned to perfection and served hot and greasy. Named after the Ansem meme, they’re the perfect side dish for any meal. It is a great frontrunner to any breakfast and starting your meme investing before everyone else.
13. Doginal Doggy Treats: A special treat for your furry friends who might be into the crypto scene. These dog-friendly snacks are made with wholesome ingredients and a touch of meme magic, ensuring your pets can join in on the fun. Sadly, no badges are allowed for pets.
14. Bored Ape Banana Shake: Embrace your inner ape with this banana shake that’s as wild as the meme token it’s named after. It’s a sweet, creamy treat that brings a taste of the jungle to your trading day. This is a $1 menu favorite.
15. McFurie Shake: This powerful shake is inspired by the legendary McFurie meme. It’s a bold blend of flavors that’s perfect for those who need a little extra energy to tackle their trading challenges. It will leave a feeling of being rugged on your taste buds more often than not.
16. Zack’s Zany McZinger is a meal that’s as bold and unpredictable as MrZackMorris himself. It starts with our signature Zinger Burger, featuring a crispy, spicy chicken patty that's got more kick than a meme that’s gone viral. Each bite is a rollercoaster of flavor, with layers of tangy pickles, spicy mayo, and a crunchy slaw that’s got more crunch than the latest market scandal.
17. SteveWillDoIt All You Can Eat MegaMeal Challenge: This is not for the faint of heart. This monumental feast starts with the "Will Do It" Burger, featuring an oversized quintiple beef patty stacked with crispy bacon, molten cheese, and a slathering of our "Go Big or Go Home" sauce—so indulgent, it might just make your wildest meme dreams come true.
But that’s just the beginning. This mega meal includes a towering portion of "Epic Meme Fries," loaded with toppings like cheesy nacho sauce, jalapeños, and a sprinkle of "Too Much Flavor" seasoning. The fries are so decadent, they come with a cautionary warning: Consume with extreme enthusiasm!
18. The McGokhstein $1 Menu: A Pinch of Richness for the Tight Ass Mfr's
(Available Friday Evening to Saturday Evening)
The Frugal McFritter Frenzy - $1
For those who’ve mastered the art of trading and saving every satoshi, our Frugal Fritter is here to delight your taste buds without lightening your wallet. Enjoy this crispy, golden, and surprisingly filling fritter packed with meme magic—because saving your Satoshis shouldn't mean sacrificing flavor!
YoSolana Saver Shlider - $1
A miniature burger with a BIG impact! This slider’s patty is so perfectly seasoned, you'll forget you're pinching pennies. Every bite is a reminder that even the richest meme trader can enjoy a good deal.
McCrypto Krunch Nuggets - $1
Tenders of crispy joy, these nuggets are perfect for those who understand the true value of a dollar. Served with our top-secret "Save-Sol" Red dipping sauce—because you deserve the best without breaking the bank.
Special Deal: The McGokhshtein $5 Mega Combo
For just $5, you can snag a Frugal McFritter, Solana Saver Shlider, Crypto McCrunch Nuggets, and a Fuckin' A-Joo Secret Sauce dip. It’s the ultimate in frugal indulgence—perfect for those who love their Solana and a bargain!
McGokhshtein Special Saucie Sauce - Free with any $5 combo
Our legendary red dipping secret sauce that’s as rich in flavor as your crypto portfolio. Enjoy a free dip to complement your meal and remember, every bite is an investment in deliciousness and it is motha' fuckin' cheap, yo.
19. CoinGirl Cafecito: CoinsGirl’s Crypto Brew isn’t just a coffee; it’s a caffeinated thrill ride. Each cup is packed with a triple shot of espresso, infused with our “Market Madness” roast—a blend so sexy and robust, it could wake up even the most sleep-deprived trader with a McBoner. To top it off, this brew is swirled with our “FOMO Foam,” a frothy, caramel-infused topping that’s as sweet and tempting as the latest crypto pump-and-dump scheme. The hot and sexy FOMO Foam is drizzled with a dash of “HODL Spice,” a secret blend of spices that adds just the right amount of kick, reminiscent of the highs and lows of your favorite meme tokens.
20. The McMolon 12"er Dog
Ever wondered what it feels like to indulge and take in a hot dog that's so extravagant and so long, it might just might make your eyes roll back into your head? Meet the Molon 12"er Dog—a footlong delight that's here to make your taste buds wet and curl your toe nails! This beast of a hot dog is made with the finest aged Doginal Dogmeat—because nothing says "luxury" like high-quality, seasoned-to-perfection meat straight from the annals of meme history. 🐕 Topped with: Radish: Fresh, crispy, and just the right amount of crunch to balance out all that richness, plus some Saucie Magic: An extra special sauce that’ll make you wonder why you ever settled for ordinary condiments.
Why should you try the Molon Saucie 12” Dog?
Because sometimes, when you're feeling like taking in a little extra, you need a hot dog that matches your appetite for life! It's the ultimate in Peter North footlong indulgence when you're ready to embrace the big, the bold, and the downright ridiculous. Come get yours now and enjoy the Molon Saucie Dog—where every bite is a celebration of over-the-top deliciousness! 🌭💥
21. Portnoy McPizza - The “Holy Shit, This Is Awesome” Pie 🍕
Alright, you degenerate pizza fiends, brace yourselves! The Portnoy McPizza is a fuckin' masterpiece of epic proportions. It’s got everything you could ever dream of on a pizza, all piled together in a glorious, greasy, flavor explosion that’ll make your taste buds throw a party. If you’re not ready for this level of awesome, back away slowly.
- Pepperoni, Sausage, Bacon, and Meatballs: Because why the hell wouldn’t you want every meat imaginable on your pizza?
- Mushrooms, Onions, and Bell Peppers: For when you want to pretend you're doing something remotely healthy.
- **Pineapple:** Love it or hate it, it’s here, and it’s not going anywhere. Deal with it.
- Extra Cheese: More cheese than you’ve ever seen. It’s like a cheese festival exploded all over your pizza.
- **Sriracha Sauce:** So hot it’ll make you sweat and curse your ex at the same time.
- Anchovies: For those who live on the edge and like their pizza with a side of “What the f*ck?”
Price: $19.99 – because you can’t put a price on this level of “why the hell not?”
Special: Get a side of “What the Fuck?” garlic knots on the house with every order. Just don’t ask questions, just eat.
22. Shah Shake Redemption Milkshake:
When you’re ready to break out of your ordinary rugged milkshake rut and experience a taste of moon-like liberation, the Shah Shank Redemption is your ticket to flavor freedom. Inspired by the legend himself, @shahh, this shake is so epic it’ll make you want to escape your daily grind and savor every glorious sip.
23. SlumDoge I Want to be a Millionaire Fuck Yeah McChili Dog
Brace yourself for the ultimate taste explosion with the ProTheDoge's F*-YEAH MChili SlumDoge! This bad boy is not for the faint-hearted or those who prefer bland food. We’re talking about a perfectly grilled hot dog, slathered in the heartiest chili that’s spiced to perfection—just like the energy of SlumDoge's tweets!
Ingredients:
- Big-Ass Hot SlumDoge: Juicy, charred to perfection, and ready to make your meme taste buds do a happy dance.
- Insane Chili Sauce: A blend of peppers, spices, and a “slume” secret ingredient that'll make you question why you ever ate anything else.
- Cheese Galore: Melted cheese that oozes out like a meme going viral.
- Onion Crunch: Because if you’re going to eat a chili dog, you might as well get some crunch and flavor.
- Extra Hot Sauce: For that Slum the bitch “holy f***” moment!
Get ready to handle the ruggin' heat—this chili dog is for those who want to make a statement. Grab a napkin, ‘cause you’ll need it. No refunds for bitch ass crying in the sauce!
And the legendary McPoor McFuckin' Fries….
24. McFuckin Fries: These aren’t your average fries. Oh no. These Bark, Shibo and Woods inspired profanity laced McFucking Fries are thick-cut, golden brown, and coated in a secret blend of spices so ass rippin' potent, it’s practically a culinary fuckin' rebellion. Each bite fuckin' delivers a crunch that’s louder than your last market order and a flavor explosion that will make you fuckin' question why you ever settled for anything fuckin' less.
Drenched in our signature Nobu and Jools inspired "What’s the Actual F#king Ticker" Red Dipping sauce, these fries are guaranteed to induce a series of expletives so creative you might need a new dictionary. We’ve packed so much damn flavor into these crispy sticks of pure joy that you’ll find yourself cursing in languages you didn’t even know you knew.
Whether you're enjoying them as a cheeky side or devouring them on their own, our McFuckin' Fries are here to remind you that sometimes, the only thing that can match the chaos of life is a plate of fries that gives zero fucks about your expectations.
Signature Sauces and Sides
- Red Dipping Sauce: No McPoor meal is complete without the infamous "What’s the Actual Fking Ticker" Red Dipping Sauce. This sauce is as fiery as a meme coin's price decline and is rumored to be the secret to making your “shit” days a little more bearable. It’s tangy, spicy, and always a hit. Pair it with anything from burgers to fries for a taste explosion that will make even the roughest market dips seem delicious.
- Alpha Nuggets: These crispy chicken nuggets come coated in a blend of secret spices and paired with the legendary Red Dipping Sauce and memetical insight. Alpha Nuggets are not just a meal; they’re a rallying cry for traders who are ready to turn their fortunes around. The Red Dipping Sauce transforms these nuggets into a savory symbol of meme trading resilience.
- McRugged “Rib” Sandwich: For those days when you feel like you’ve been rug-pulled and kicked in the ribs in the most unexpected way, the McRugged “Rib” Sandwich is the ultimate comfort food, only the best rib meat stuffed between those delicious Iggy buns, perfect for rubbing your face in and all your worries go away. This hearty sandwich is loaded with layers of bruised rib meat, tangy sauces, and diced onions that will make you cry, all wrapped up in a Iggy bun that stays firm even when the market is crumbling.
- Hot Fomo Cherry and Apple Pie: When you’re feeling the intense “Fear of Missing Out and want to increase your Solanic input,” McPoors Hot Fomo Pies is the perfect remedy. This delectable dessert is a warm, gooey treat that’s filled with rich, sweet flavors. Each bite is guaranteed to make your mouth water and remind you that even if you missed out on a pump, you’ve got something delicious to look forward to.
The Pump Fun Kids Meal
For novice traders or those who love a bit of extra fun with their meals, the Pump Fun Kids Meal is the perfect choice for getting rugged almost 99% of the time. Designed to introduce new traders to the world of McPoor with a touch of excitement, this meal is a hit with the younger and newer members of the meme trading community.
Each Pump Fun Kids Meal includes:
- A Bite Size McRug Burger: A scaled-down version of the classic Rug Burger stuffed between the hot Iggy Buns, perfect for those normies just dipping their toes into the meme trading waters.
- A Side of Fuckin Fries: Crispy fries with a sprinkle of FUD seasoning paired with Red Dipping sauce is a delectable treat.
- A KOLa Junior Drink: A smaller portion of the KOLa Drink, tailored for those who are still finding their flavor.
- Alpha Nuggets: A few of the iconic Alpha Nuggets, providing a taste of McPoor’s renowned crispy goodness that provide a Mooning McPoor experience. This meal combined with the famous Zeep Sauce and a Ms Ice Tee is a beautiful combination when you want your wallet to expand along with your belly.
- A McPoor Toy: Each Pump Fun Meal comes with a collectible McPoor toy featuring iconic meme symbols and crypto-themed designs. These memetic toys are updated weekly, giving novice traders something new and exciting to look forward to each time they visit McPoors with their normie children. Two of the collectibles that have become a classics are the LasVegasBarbie, CoinChick and Sol Princess dolls - a must have.
Served in Moon Bags
True to its crypto roots, every meal at McPoor is served in a “Moon Bag”—a playful nod to the dream of hitting the moon with your investments. These bags, styled to look like crypto moon bags, are not only eco-friendly but also come with collectible designs featuring iconic meme symbols and crypto humor.
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